Since when are moms perfect?
Mom & Dad Early 1970s,
Ada & William Fredrickson Kearney NE
We may have an image of the woman always there for her kids, who bakes cookies and is nearby for a hug and to kiss those boo-boos. Get real. This idealistic view of mom is way old if it was ever realistic. I grew up in the 50s and 60s and my mom was much more than this image. My father was a minister. She ministered along with him.
She was a talented musician, organizer and elocutionist. While my father was a counselor of those who wanted help, many women preferred to counsel with my mother. Before marriage, in Minneapolis MN where both my parents grew up, Mom managed the office of a group of professionals. (I can’t remember if it was doctors or lawyers.)
Today most women work outside their home as lawyers, medical professionals, clerks, or who knows what other work, along with being a mom. It takes a lot of scheduling and energy. As a freelance author and journalist, I mainly worked at home, though I did speak to other groups and did research for my articles and books away from home.
Yes I was usually home when my children were. In fact, neighborhood kids knew ours was a safe place to stop if they felt unsafe. We live just south of a park. I did try to be there for my kids, but in the middle of a meal, my head was often far away with my characters. At meals they could tell when I left them. My focus would go up toward the far wall. It took concerted effort to bring me back. “Earth to Mom.” “Hey, earth to Mom.”
As for those warm cookies, early on my kids learned to cook on their own and told me to stop fixing their suppers in their early teens. I have a habit of putting things into the oven, start writing, and forgetting whatever was in the oven. My family really didn’t care for charcoal. I am doing better, but of course, our kids are long gone from home with their own families. (Both are excellent cooks.)
Quite a few mothers choose to be stay-at-home moms, but even these women often have something they make or sell on the side. Though the idealistic view of Mom may not be real, the important role of Moms hasn’t changed. None of us are perfect, but most of us love our kids and do everything we can to help them grow into caring, functioning adults.
We goof up. I’ve yelled at my kids. I’ve told them they were grounded for the rest of their lives. (Like that makes sense.) I learned one thing from my parents that made a lot of difference for me in dealing with our children. When they blew it, my mom and dad were not too proud to say they’d overreacted and to say “I’m sorry.” (Honesty was big at my home.)
As moms and grandmothers, for that’s where I’m at now, we will not be perfect, that, too, is something kids need to learn. It’s ok not to be perfect. It’s ok to pick up and move on. (In no way am I talking about verbal or physical abuse. That is never ok.) With love and respect and faith we can be positive examples to our kids.
For all the frustrations children lead us through, their smiles and hugs fill the heart. Being a mom is something so special as we watch our kids make milestones and grow into caring adults and friends. Most of all, I am thankful for prayer for I have discovered that being a mom is a lifetime responsibility.
© 2025 Carolyn R Scheidies
Published Kearney Hub 5/1/2025
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